{"id":20334,"date":"2013-08-05T12:27:18","date_gmt":"2013-08-05T16:27:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nomadicmatt.com\/?p=20334"},"modified":"2024-12-12T10:11:21","modified_gmt":"2024-12-12T15:11:21","slug":"unsupportive-friends-and-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nomadicmatt.com\/travel-blogs\/unsupportive-friends-and-family\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal with Unsupportive Friends and Family"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Nomadic<\/p>\n

When I first started to travel long-term<\/a>, people asked me what I was running away from<\/a>, wondered why I wanted to be gone so long, and would mostly tell me I was crazy or weird.<\/p>\n

Suffice it to say, I didn\u2019t get a lot of encouragement and support in the beginning.<\/p>\n

Sometimes your friends and family \u2014 the people you most want to be supportive of your trip \u2014 aren\u2019t as enthusiastic as you\u2019d like them to be. They don\u2019t understand why you want to quit your job to travel the world<\/a> and might try to talk you out of going. That can be deflating. You\u2019re so excited about this adventure and here they are, raining on your parade.<\/p>\n

Readers frequently reach out to me about this topic. I can feel the angst in their emails and the confusion at not knowing how to deal with the situation.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do I not let them get me down? What did you do? What do I say?\u201d<\/p>\n

As I sat down to write this article, I took a poll\u00a0on my Facebook page<\/a> and asked readers about their experiences. I was amazed by how much commonality there was among people\u2019s situations and the reactions from their friends and family. Apparently, I\u2019m not the only one who has faced such negativity, and, luckily, I\u2019m also not the only one who ignored it.<\/p>\n

But it still sucks when your support system is so unsupportive. <\/p>\n

How do you react? How do you rise above the negativity that can make you second guess yourself? <\/p>\n

In this post, I want to highlight some common criticisms that future travelers like yourself might hear, and examples of how I\u2019ve turned around similar criticism when faced with it myself:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe world is unsafe. You shouldn\u2019t go.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0I hear this one a lot, not only from people via email but also from people in my own life (especially my mom). News organizations paint the world to be a scary, scary place with criminals lurking around every corner. News shows love to highlight the dangers of life; as they say, \u201cif it bleeds, it leads.\u201d <\/p>\n

But crime happens everywhere. <\/p>\n

It occurs in NYC<\/a>, London<\/a>, Paris<\/a>, Thailand<\/a>, Brazil<\/a>, and every small town and medium-sized city in between. <\/p>\n

You can walk out of your house and be mugged or hit by a bus. Just like you can travel the world and never have anything happen to you. There is no place in the world that is 100% safe. Once you put it into this perspective for people, it usually ends the subject.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are just running away.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0People seem to assume that if you are traveling long-term, you must be running away from something<\/a>. When people say this to me, I tell them that yes, I am running away \u2014\u00a0from their version of life and to my version of life. Remind people that what they do in their life may make them happy, but that you have different goals<\/a> \u2014\u00a0and this trip is what makes you happy right now. <\/p>\n

Most people will admit you have a point and drop the subject because, at the end of the day, we all want our friends to realize their dreams and be happy. True friends will let you go after yours and be supportive along the way, while the unsupportive ones will fall away<\/a>. <\/p>\n

And once you get on the road, you’ll connect and make friends with other travelers<\/a> who share the same drive and passion for exploring the world that you do.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you get a job?\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0Let\u2019s face facts: unless you suddenly strike it rich, you\u2019ll be working until you\u2019re dead. The notion of working until a certain age and then retiring is long gone in the modern economy. <\/p>\n

When people tell me that I should get a job, I respond that if I\u2019m going to be working well into my old age, I\u2019d rather spend my healthy years exploring the world<\/a> instead of sitting in an office. There will always be time later to work. <\/p>\n

Plus, nowadays, travel experience is often considered a plus by employers<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I could do that. It must be nice to not have any responsibility.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0This is jealousy, pure and simple. I tell people, \u201cYou can travel too.\u201d There\u2019s nothing special about me and my decision. Once you take care of your bills and sell your stuff, you can set off on your own journey \u2014\u00a0even if you\u2019re older than the average backpacker<\/a>\u00a0or have kids<\/a>. <\/p>\n

While there are always circumstances that really keep people from traveling, for the most part the only things holding anyone back are the restrictions they put on themselves<\/a>. People of all ages and circumstances find ways to turn travel into a reality.<\/p>\n

“How are you going to afford that?”<\/strong> This is another one I get a lot, and another one fueled by jealousy. The truth is that there are countless ways to cut your costs to save up for travel<\/a>, and just as many for keeping expenses low while on the road<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Again, it all comes back to mindset<\/a>. When you actually tell people the logistics of how you’re planning to afford it, they usually can’t argue with you.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s unsafe to travel alone.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0I typically respond to anyone who offers this argument by asking them why they believe this. They usually begin to spout stories they \u201clearned\u201d from the news about people who traveled alone and ended up in a bad situation. They might rattle off worst-case scenarios: \u201cyou could get sick, injured, robbed, or worse, and no one would be around to help.\u201d <\/p>\n

That may be true, but if I went hiking in the woods by myself, the same thing could happen. Hell, I could fall in my apartment and no one might notice for days. <\/p>\n

As a solo traveler<\/a>, you have to be a little more vigilant, but being alone in Paris<\/a> or Thailand<\/a> is like being alone everywhere else.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really unsafe to travel alone if you are a woman.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0Reports of women getting hurt or killed overseas are always played up by the media. \u201cThe world is scary. Don\u2019t go out there alone. Evil men lurk behind bushes.\u201d <\/p>\n

No more so than where you live right now. <\/p>\n

But don\u2019t take my word for it. Read this article on solo female travel safety<\/a> and then dive into this list of solo female travel bloggers who can help dispel that myth for you:<\/p>\n